I prefer to call it a social experiment

Posted July 24, 2006

A few years ago I moved from the sunny Florida to this "lovely" Baltimore/Washington area. During the move I switched banks. This however did not work exactly as I had planned. One day in a rather sarcastic mood, I wrote this letter to my old bank:

############## Federal Credit Union

300 ######### St.

#########, FL ######

To Whom It May Concern:

As a member of your credit union, I was very pleased with the quality of service that I received. So I was very dishearten to close my account when, for work, I moved outside the useful range of your bank. Though not as dishearten as, apparently, you were about losing of a member, because this account I allude to has yet to be closed. My last inquiry requested that the balance of the funds be sent to me and the account closed. This was done as I requested in a prompt and timely fashion. However do to some strange computer glitch; my account was reactivated to deposit the weighted interest for that accounting month of a grand total of $0.22.

At first I found this very humorous to receive account summaries every month of my little nest egg, and hoped someday it would collect enough interest to be a full quarter. However after over a year, I have come to two conclusions: you will not stop sending me account statements, and my nest egg is under the threshold to collect interest. So I feel its time to end this little social experiment.

So this brings up a problem of how I collect my twenty two cents. As it should be apparent by now, I am not concerned about ever receiving the balance of my account. I simply wish the money put to a better use. I personally would love if the sum was to be split among your tellers; everybody gets a penny. They were always nice and helpful people, and deserve this bonus. However since I am sure there are rules and regulations in place about such matters, I assume you will insist on cutting me check for $0.22, and spending $0.37 to send it to me. At which time, I will have to deposit said check so that it may rejoin the previously transferred funds. The nature and means for which you remove the funds I shall leave to your judgment. My only wish is that this account finally be closed.

Sincerely,

Kenneth

After a few months I had forgotten about the letter, when I received a package in the mail. It was a letter for one of the VPs of the bank saying they fixed the computer glitch and thanked me for my help. Attached to the letter in a small plastic bag was a shiny new quarter.